I don't know how to write this final post to express my very emotional feelings. When VC said I broke 3 hearts, I broke down (inside). Not because I broke their hearts, but because I broke yours.
I felt that I have let you down. I felt that I have not lived up to your expectations.
You have been my pillar of strength. We spoke in 1/2 sentences and we understand each other fully.
It was really ironical. You were so down when the major change took place in your department, you said something very out of character, which is "I don't know how long I can last.." I consoled you "As long as you can, as long as you wish. As long as you try your best; it's all that matters". At that moment, it suddenly became clear to me as to what I want. As much as I can't bear to part with you (and the others), I have made up my mind. BC, I am sorry..
Sunday, November 27, 2011
A 20 min conversation
This happened on Fri. I had wanted to inform him on Tues, but we couldn't meet. I shocked him on Wed. No matter how we tried to arrange, we couldn't meet on Wed or Thurs.
Finally, busy me and busy him manage to squeeze 20 mins of time. When we sat down, he expected me to want to say something, because I initiated the meet up. But I told him, I have no agenda to discuss at all. I just felt that I need to talk to him, meaning if he have any interest, any doubt, any query, I am more than willing to fill him with some details.
Quite unexpectedly, the first thing that he told me was that I broke 3 hearts. When I heard this, my heart started crying.
He is HR, a very good one, so he is very professional. However, at the same time, he is extremely sincere. We talked quite a lot during the very short 20 mins. I shouldn't (he is HR!!), but I told him everything.
He asked me if I remember the time I came for the interviews 6.5 years ago. I didn't answer him verbally. I answered him in my crying heart, that, yes, i do, every detail of it.
VC, thank you very much.
Finally, busy me and busy him manage to squeeze 20 mins of time. When we sat down, he expected me to want to say something, because I initiated the meet up. But I told him, I have no agenda to discuss at all. I just felt that I need to talk to him, meaning if he have any interest, any doubt, any query, I am more than willing to fill him with some details.
Quite unexpectedly, the first thing that he told me was that I broke 3 hearts. When I heard this, my heart started crying.
He is HR, a very good one, so he is very professional. However, at the same time, he is extremely sincere. We talked quite a lot during the very short 20 mins. I shouldn't (he is HR!!), but I told him everything.
He asked me if I remember the time I came for the interviews 6.5 years ago. I didn't answer him verbally. I answered him in my crying heart, that, yes, i do, every detail of it.
VC, thank you very much.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Time to part
I have worked in my current company for 6.5 years. 6.5 yrs is a long time..
I was very happy working in here. During these years, I have grown with the company. I only realized recently that over time, I had developed very strong feelings and attachment for my company and my colleagues.
I do not intend to discuss work issues here. I'm mainly blogging about my emotions.
I finally made a decision to quit. I tendered my resignation on Wednesday. But the decision didn't come easy at all. It was a very difficult decision. I struggled terribly for 2 months. Every morning, for the last 2 months, I woke up feeling so torn apart. Should I go, should I not? I wanted to go, but I have commitments to fulfill, and I cannot bear to part with my some people in my company.
I was very happy working in here. During these years, I have grown with the company. I only realized recently that over time, I had developed very strong feelings and attachment for my company and my colleagues.
I do not intend to discuss work issues here. I'm mainly blogging about my emotions.
I finally made a decision to quit. I tendered my resignation on Wednesday. But the decision didn't come easy at all. It was a very difficult decision. I struggled terribly for 2 months. Every morning, for the last 2 months, I woke up feeling so torn apart. Should I go, should I not? I wanted to go, but I have commitments to fulfill, and I cannot bear to part with my some people in my company.
What is a job?
I don't think many people will understand what I'm going thro. Usually, a job, e.g. accountant, engineer, lawyer, is just a job. It's something that we do so that we earn a living. It's not our life's priority, which are usually health, family, and happiness.
In our current society, a job can be more time and emotionally consuming than it should be. Most of us spend more time at work than at home, and some people places career above everything. Even if we are not that career minded or workaholic, we grew up learning to work hard so as to earn more, as having a "good job" is one of the foundation of a happy and successful life. We are taught how to live in a materialistic and commercial world..
I grew up in the environment that I described above. So in my last 15 years of working, I worked hard and I worked smart. I was very committed to all my jobs and the companies. I produce a lot of good results, and I was constantly rewarded with promotions and growth. From a wide eyed accounts executive fresh out of school, I progress to become a competent accountant, and then I am the confident and capable manager that I am now.
The transition took place day after day, without me realizing that career has become such an important part of my life. Another reason why this is so is that life outside work is relatively simpler (doesn't need a lot of attention or create much headache). So day in day out, my energy was spent on resolving work issues, such as "how to close accounts on time next month", "how to implement charges because of new business deals" etc etc. Everyday, I face challenge at work rather than at home.
Now that I explained how my job has inevitably became an important part of my life, I then can explain why the crisis that I faced in my job this year took such a toll on my personal emotion.
In our current society, a job can be more time and emotionally consuming than it should be. Most of us spend more time at work than at home, and some people places career above everything. Even if we are not that career minded or workaholic, we grew up learning to work hard so as to earn more, as having a "good job" is one of the foundation of a happy and successful life. We are taught how to live in a materialistic and commercial world..
I grew up in the environment that I described above. So in my last 15 years of working, I worked hard and I worked smart. I was very committed to all my jobs and the companies. I produce a lot of good results, and I was constantly rewarded with promotions and growth. From a wide eyed accounts executive fresh out of school, I progress to become a competent accountant, and then I am the confident and capable manager that I am now.
The transition took place day after day, without me realizing that career has become such an important part of my life. Another reason why this is so is that life outside work is relatively simpler (doesn't need a lot of attention or create much headache). So day in day out, my energy was spent on resolving work issues, such as "how to close accounts on time next month", "how to implement charges because of new business deals" etc etc. Everyday, I face challenge at work rather than at home.
Now that I explained how my job has inevitably became an important part of my life, I then can explain why the crisis that I faced in my job this year took such a toll on my personal emotion.
Emotional
Most of my friends have "emotions" as one of the labels for their blog posting. I don't have, because I'm not a emotional person. When I was much younger, as in in secondary school and JC, I'm much more emotional, as all teenagers are. I used to write a lot of letters (to my best friend who stay in Clemeti), as there isn't such a thing call blog back then. I know she keeps all my letters, and I kept all her letters too (she writes to me too).
I have been blogging for quite a few years already. As most of my readers know, I only blog about my feelings once in awhile.
This year, 2011, is an extraordinary year. I have shared a little of the happenings in this year in a blog posting not too long ago. Because of the things that had happened, I swamped by emotions this year.
Right now, its 1038pm at night. I'm in MBS hotel room. WK, Lynn and WK's mum are asleep already. I plan to type late tonight. I do not know, when I close the mac book tonight, how much emotions I will manage to post. I wish to tell all, to pour my heart out, to cry my heart out.....
I have been blogging for quite a few years already. As most of my readers know, I only blog about my feelings once in awhile.
This year, 2011, is an extraordinary year. I have shared a little of the happenings in this year in a blog posting not too long ago. Because of the things that had happened, I swamped by emotions this year.
Right now, its 1038pm at night. I'm in MBS hotel room. WK, Lynn and WK's mum are asleep already. I plan to type late tonight. I do not know, when I close the mac book tonight, how much emotions I will manage to post. I wish to tell all, to pour my heart out, to cry my heart out.....
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Perth Farm stay (2011) - Day 3/4/5 (Lynn's favorites)
We took lots of photos of Lynn interacting with the animals. As we do the same kinds of activities over the 3 days, there's pics of dogs, rabbits, pony rides, kangaroos and the other animals over the 3 days. I've sorted them for posting to the blog.
(I) Pony ride
The pony ride took place at 830am every morning, and Lynn did all 3 mornings. On the first 2 days, the farm staff only walked the pony. On the 3rd morning, a different farm staff doing the ride let the pony gallop a bit. Here's some pics:
(II) Lily and Chilli
What I enjoy most about the farm was the dogs! I like dogs, but I don't get much chance at all to play with dogs in Spore. The other animals on the farm only wanted to be fed, but the dogs would interact with us. There are 2 dogs at the farm, a mummy dog (Chilli), and her kid (Lily). The kid dog, which is slightly lesser than 3 yrs old, is not small in size. Infact, its as big as it's mum. They would lie down cos they enjoy the stroking. On one of our evening trips to the supermart, we bought dog treats for them. On another evening, Lynn bought 2 mini tennis to play "throw and fetch" with the dogs, but one of the balls got chewed up by the dog. Here's some photos:
(III) Rabbits
Where in the farm did we spent most of our time (other than the farm house)? The answer should be the same for every family with young children - the rabbit enclosure! Lynn, and some other children staying at the farm house, were just smitten the the rabbits. When we came back to spore, Lynn kept telling WK's mum that "the rabbits all gather around me!". Of course its the food in our hands that actually attracting the rabbits. Lynn and the other kids try to catch and hold the rabbits, but of course not very successfully. However, WK did catch them a few time, so that Lynn got to stroke them. Here's some pics:
(I) Pony ride
The pony ride took place at 830am every morning, and Lynn did all 3 mornings. On the first 2 days, the farm staff only walked the pony. On the 3rd morning, a different farm staff doing the ride let the pony gallop a bit. Here's some pics:
(II) Lily and Chilli
What I enjoy most about the farm was the dogs! I like dogs, but I don't get much chance at all to play with dogs in Spore. The other animals on the farm only wanted to be fed, but the dogs would interact with us. There are 2 dogs at the farm, a mummy dog (Chilli), and her kid (Lily). The kid dog, which is slightly lesser than 3 yrs old, is not small in size. Infact, its as big as it's mum. They would lie down cos they enjoy the stroking. On one of our evening trips to the supermart, we bought dog treats for them. On another evening, Lynn bought 2 mini tennis to play "throw and fetch" with the dogs, but one of the balls got chewed up by the dog. Here's some photos:
(III) Rabbits
Where in the farm did we spent most of our time (other than the farm house)? The answer should be the same for every family with young children - the rabbit enclosure! Lynn, and some other children staying at the farm house, were just smitten the the rabbits. When we came back to spore, Lynn kept telling WK's mum that "the rabbits all gather around me!". Of course its the food in our hands that actually attracting the rabbits. Lynn and the other kids try to catch and hold the rabbits, but of course not very successfully. However, WK did catch them a few time, so that Lynn got to stroke them. Here's some pics:
Perth Farm stay (2011) - Day 2 - 23 Oct
The main reason we went Bunsbury is that the Farm that we were going to is 3 hours from the airport, so we broke the drive into 2 parts, with part one on day 1 (1 hour drive, stay overnight), and part 2 on day 2 afternoon (2 hours drive). WK choose Bunsbury because there's a dolphin discovery centre there.
He read the reviews on the Net. Some reviews were that the dolphin sightings were great experience. Some reviews were that there were no dolphins, so it's a total waste of money.
We were extremely lucky. Firstly, it was the centre's open house, so admission was free! It was a carnival atmosphere, and there's some play areas set up for kids. When we were touring its indoor museum/aquarium, we were informed to go to the beach because dolphins were sighted. The nearest that WK and Lynn got was probably about 1m from them!
People gathered at the beach to watch the dolphins:
I didn't notice the boy behind WK until I uploaded this pic:
Afterwards, we drove along the road to view its coastal view. If I'm not long, its the Indian Ocean that we were looking at.
After lunch,
we left for our farm - Sunflower Farm at Margaret River. We reached there mid afternoon, at about 330pm. It was supposed to be Spring (not cold), but maybe it's the country side, so it was cold (about 20C).
We got 3 full days there. On all 3 evenings (about 5pm), we drove out to Margaret River for dinner and supplies. We slept very early in the nights (before 9) as there's nothing to do in the pitch dark and cold country side. In the mornings, we prepare our own breakfast (muffins, bread, instant noodles) before pony rides and morning feeds. At noon, we did outdoor barbeque (such as chicken wings, hotdogs, and beef). On day 4 afternoon, we did a tractor ride.
Here's some photos of the Farm, and some of our family activities:
Farm Entrance (that's our rental Camry):
Driveway into/out of Sunflower Farm:
The office/entrance to farm area:
A total of 4 farm houses for rental:
The front door of our house:
Playground in front of our house:
Sheep enclosure at the back of our house
Laundry area/laundry lines in front of the sheep enclosure:
Beautiful flowers!
Living/Kitchen area (having breakfast):
BBQ lunch:
He read the reviews on the Net. Some reviews were that the dolphin sightings were great experience. Some reviews were that there were no dolphins, so it's a total waste of money.
We were extremely lucky. Firstly, it was the centre's open house, so admission was free! It was a carnival atmosphere, and there's some play areas set up for kids. When we were touring its indoor museum/aquarium, we were informed to go to the beach because dolphins were sighted. The nearest that WK and Lynn got was probably about 1m from them!
People gathered at the beach to watch the dolphins:
I didn't notice the boy behind WK until I uploaded this pic:
Afterwards, we drove along the road to view its coastal view. If I'm not long, its the Indian Ocean that we were looking at.
After lunch,
we left for our farm - Sunflower Farm at Margaret River. We reached there mid afternoon, at about 330pm. It was supposed to be Spring (not cold), but maybe it's the country side, so it was cold (about 20C).
We got 3 full days there. On all 3 evenings (about 5pm), we drove out to Margaret River for dinner and supplies. We slept very early in the nights (before 9) as there's nothing to do in the pitch dark and cold country side. In the mornings, we prepare our own breakfast (muffins, bread, instant noodles) before pony rides and morning feeds. At noon, we did outdoor barbeque (such as chicken wings, hotdogs, and beef). On day 4 afternoon, we did a tractor ride.
Here's some photos of the Farm, and some of our family activities:
Farm Entrance (that's our rental Camry):
Driveway into/out of Sunflower Farm:
The office/entrance to farm area:
A total of 4 farm houses for rental:
The front door of our house:
Playground in front of our house:
Sheep enclosure at the back of our house
Laundry area/laundry lines in front of the sheep enclosure:
Beautiful flowers!
Living/Kitchen area (having breakfast):
BBQ lunch:
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