30th Apr 2012

Today I'm not working, but WK is, and Lynn has school.  It's like one of the days during my 2 months break.  And I have dedicated today to finish my long o/s blog posting regarding my 2 months long break.  

Today started very much like the days during my break.  Yesterday, I told myself that I should plan my activities and pack for my activities so that I can leave home the same time as Lynn in the morning.  However, without a "start work" time, half the time I ended up like today, still at home at 10+am (time right now). 

That's the issue with sharing my home with MIL.  Those of you who read my blog know that we manage to live together pretty well.  There's little conflict as we can communicate with each other, and we don't face each other 24-7.  So the perks of having MIL to take care of Lynn and our dinner is that I need to share the home with her.  So during my 2 months break, I usually pack all my stuff and tried to get out of the house as early as possible.  My frequent hangouts were Bishan Library and NUSS club house.  As mentioned before, my biggest expense then was parking.    

I set up a list of things to do for my break.  They include exercising, read up on investment/money management, tidying the house, etc.  And of course relaxing and recharging, by doing things at a slow pace.  I wasn't successful in exercising/losing weight at all.  I did set up my Phillips security on line trading account properly, invested some money, but learning money management is a long way to go and I'm still very bad at it.  The easiest thing to do, because it is a brainless task, and thus therapeutic, is tidying my house.  And yes, the most important thing that i did not do during the break is to go for full body check up.  

So during these 2 months, I didn't complete a lot.  However, I did have a good break.  The 2 trips (Seoul and Shanghai) were shiok.  The time spent in Singapore (doing the stuff listed above) was stress free.  Oh yes, CNY was fantastic; it was like a let go of a big burden...

One of the reasons why I didn't complete much was that I lunched with my ex colleagues a lot.  Half the time, it was them who asked me for lunch.  It's good that we did that, as going forward there will be little opportunity to do so.  

And I'm very happy to meet some old friends.  I met up with Soo Hui (colleague from first job) at Lau pat sat.  During the march school holidays, I brought Lynn to meet up with Ivy (friend from JC) and her 2 girls at Vivo city.  I also drove to International road to pick up Lydia (colleague from 2nd job) for lunch.  I told her that I had been more than 8 years since I drive along PIE to Tuas.  I arranged for a group dinner mainly to meet Zane, who had left GF for more than a year, but she 放我们的飞机... And I spent 5 hours with Geraldine (also ex GF) one afternoon, doing lunch and tea! Anyway, I was so busy at GF that meeting my old friends was definitely something that I should do during the break.  There are a few more people whom I want to meet up, but I have to arrange again.  And 2 Fridays ago, I met JJ for dinner, and ended up spending more than 4 hours chatting late into the night.  

Actually I have come to the end of what I wanted to write about my 2 months break.  But I think this posting still have quite some way to go.  When I wrote the above, I don't have much emotions.  This second part of this post, I don't know how my emotions will be.

Today, is actually HT's last day at GF.  Do I call it coincidence, or do I call it ironical?  人生很多无耐.  Looks like it is inevitable that things come to this stage.  I remembered that when we were faced with impossible situations, he will jokingly, and yet meaningfully say that what's the worse that can happen, and that he wish they will just fire him （一了百了).   I really don't know how to judge this latest development.  I did something very out of character, which was to SMS him the moment I knew that he's leaving.  I told him "Everyone loves you and will support your decision".  I worked late that night.  When I walked home from my new office, all the emotions came flooding.  That night, I did a blog posting, and just after I published it, I received a reply from him that says "thank you seow wai".  

I also met up with Kelly on last Friday for dinner.  She's someone whom I seldom blog about, but she actually played a very important role in my life in the past 2 years.  I can say that I have no more 牵挂 in GF except for her.  But my dear Kelly is such a strong character; I was so so so so relieved when I realized that she's still hanging on strong, without me there for her.  

When and how will my chapter in GF be finally closed?  I know it takes time to heal, but I never realize that I can't put GF down just like any of my previous jobs.  I was telling HF that I finally understand why JO couldn't let go.  

I don't want to end this posting on this tone.  I have decided that I want to enjoy today, stress free, carefree.  I want to think of my boss who is packing his stuff today.  I also want to prepare for a brand new day starting tomorrow.  Since I started my new job one month back, I do not have enough time for a lot of stuff (which is the norm for a working mother).  So I wanted to start doing and completing tasks (like exercising) again.  I will also be traveling for work in 2 weeks time.  Life must move on.  I had a very interesting and fulfilling 7 years in GF, which I will remember for a long time to come.  

   

Lynn update IV - accident prone day

My active sweetie had a accident prone day today. First, she tripped, but it was a minor incident, with some surface scratches. Then she scalded herself, which I will talk about below. Then after her swimming class, she didn't know where she got a cut on her index finger, which was quite painful.

Anyway, back to the scald. She was really silly. We went to see a show flat. After viewing, we were talking to the agent at the main lobby. As usual we let her run around. We have always do that (let her run freely, but keep an eye on her) cos she's too active and is impossible to stay still. There's a water dispenser, the kind that we usually find at show flats. I took a plastic cup of water from the dispenser for her, which she finished drinking soon. She played with the plastic cup and tore it up. I saw, so I asked her throw the damaged cup away. She went (toward the water dispenser), then she came back to us but didn't say anything. Now that I recall, she looked a bit weird, but we didn't pay much attention to her as we were discussing about the condo.

We went to take the MRT (J8), and that was the first time I notice a dull red patch at the side of her mouth. We took the MRT back to Toa Payoh, and then we went NTUC. We spent about 10 mins going around picking up stuff. Anyway, she's still her bubbly self, running around, chattering away. It was only when we were in the queue to pay when I asked her what's the red patch about. She finally told me that after she threw the cup away, she wanted some more water. She saw people mixing water from the blue knob (cold) and the red knob (hot) into the cup. She didn't want to take another cup, so she placed her mouth under the knob and dispense the water straight into her mouth. That's how she got scalded by the hot water. Luckily, she was not that "accurate", so the hot water scalded the outside of her mouth and not the inside. 

It was not too bad a burn, and she was not in too much pain, that's why she didn't dare to tell us. But I straight away told WK what happened and told him to go to the pharmacy opposite to get burn cream/gel.  I was SUPER GLAD that we got the gel (brand: Burnaid), cos just after the first application, the color and the swelling improved a lot. After a few more applications (can be applied every 30 mins), the injury looked very much healed. Here's a pic of the burn after the first application of the gel (the white stuff was the gel):

Frankly speaking, I was very worried when I first found out (at NTUC).  Afterwards I was almost nagging her about how important it is to inform us of happenings.  It's a little nerve wrecking experience because the incident only came to light because I'm an observant person.  I cannot imaging how long it will take or if it will ever be made known to other adults if I was not around.  She's a young kid, so she didn't know how to differentiate between a not so painful fall/scratch and a not so painful scald.  A not painful scratch can be left alone, but a not so painful scald should still be treated.  I hope she learn a good lesson.  I know that Lynn has high regards for me and trusted me, cos I have always been able to solve her problems and give her great comfort.  Hopefully the gel gave her such an instant relief that she will learn to turn to me even more.  My heart really pained when I came to know that she got scalded.  

I suddenly recall something that I had always wanted to blog about.  When I was young (about 8 or 9 yrs old), I was running up an escalator with my sis when I cut my leg on the sharp edge of the escalator. I dare not tell my mum cos she will scold me (she had always told us not to run on escalator).  It was very painful, but I tolerated.  The pain lasted quite long.  It was only when I became older that I realized I had actually lost a small piece of flesh (about the size of a 10cents coin, but slightly fatter).  For about 10 years, I had this scar and this small indent on my leg where I lost the small piece of flesh.  Sometimes I do think that if I had seek treatment I wouldn't had to go through so much pain.  So the incident today scared me not only because she scalded herself, but because she didn't tell us.  I also vividly remember another incident from the past whereby my friend fell down (when we were playing), and her mum scolded her fiercely for being naughty while she was crying in pain.  I remembered thinking how come our parents were so unloving.  Because of my own experience, I always remind myself to balance between reprimanding and comforting Lynn when she hurt herself from misbehaving.  The love (of every generation of mothers) is the same, but I feel that I can/want to do a better job.  Hopefully one day Lynn will read this and understand my love for her, and the efforts I put in to be a good mother to her.

BTW, don't be alarmed by the pic above.  The injury wasn't bad and it had already healed a lot. 

Lynn update III - hamster!

Lynn loves little animals.  Still, I have never thought that I will allow her to rear little pets.  But now, it's already a reality!

She actually requested about 2 months back.  I was 心软, and I couldn't find any reason to say no to her.  She proposed that if she's a good girls for a period of time, we can reward her by letting her keep hamster.  So I told her that up to the weekend that we come back from HK, if she doesn't get 10 "bad" days, I will buy her hamster.  Over the past 2 months, she got 7 or 8 "bad".  So finally the big day (which was yesterday) arrived.  This was the sequence of events yesterday.

In the morning, May took her two kids to our place (Mavis and Mabel) while she went to run errants.  After our lunch at Upper Serangoon, we went to my Uncle's place to get the hamster cage from him.  Then we went to a pet shop in Toa Payoh.  The 3 girls were very excited.  At the pet shop they petted some rabbits.  I asked the shop owner at lot of questions and picked up a few supplies (food, bedding, teething toy, water dispenser and bathing sand).  Finally when I'm done, the girls were asked to choose 2 hamsters from the tank.  They had a fun time deciding which hamsters and trying to catch the hamsters.  Finally they picked 2, which the girls named as "Harry" and "Friendly".

When we got home, Faith and her sisters were at their door, and they were very excited when they came to know that we got some hamsters.  Apparently, they had hamsters before.  Joy and Erin went home and soon came to our house with left over supplies.  Then the 7 girls were busy setting up the cage before we can settle the hamsters in.  But little Carynn soon went away to play with other toys.

Here's some pics of the girls setting the cage:

The girls in the pic below are (from left) -  Faith, Erin, Joy, Carynn, Mabel, Mavis and Lynn (those were her hands on cage at the bottom of the pic)):

The girls settled down for a rest and some food:

Here's some pics taken today:

Lynn holding her hamsters for my pics:

Lynn asked me to take a pic of the hamster's feet:

Lynn update II - grammar vs creativity

Every week Lynn will be given 5 to 6 words to do sentence construction. I found that Lynn can't complete this task independently if it is to be grammatically correct. For example, she may write "daddy bring me to zoo" when it should be "daddy brings me to the zoo". So usually I will ask her what she wants to write and teach her how to write it correctly.

Yesterday she was suppose to use the word "platform". She refused to tell me what she wants to write and started writing on her own. To my horror/puzzlement, her first 3 words were "The train say". But I kept quiet and waited for her to finish her sentence. To my amusement her full sentence is "The train say"Mind the platform gap"". Wahahaha, i am soooo proud of this grammatically incorrect sentence that I did not correct it to see what will be the teacher's reaction!

Lynn update I - teaching and learning Chinese

Most of my methods of teaching little children are self taught/through observation. For example, for language, I know that cultivating interest is more important than forcing them to memorise. When she was younger this theory is easily applied to teaching Chinese language. For example the characters "人＂ or "口" resembles the actual thing, so teaching Chinese spelling was never a problem. As she goes to k1 and k2, she learn more difficult words and thus it became more difficult to apply the same technique. But of course I still try my best to make learning Chinese interesting for her.

2 days ago, something happened that make me feel very happy and encouraged. Tomorrow's spelling has the word "快艇". I started teaching her on Monday. On Thursday night, she told me these: (1) 舟 is like a double decker ship, and there is one person one the first and second level respectively. (2) the 廴is like a ladder to board the ship. (3) 壬 is a person about to climb up the ship. I was so delighted because she is using association to learn, and that's one of the best method to learn anything. I don't think she is smart, I just happy that she has an enjoyable time learning so far.

A birthday party at NUSS

Came NUSS for Lynn's swimming lesson. Saw that someone had held a birthday party at the cafe beside the pool. Must be a little Indian girl, cos most of the guests are Indians, and the deco is princess theme.

A simple reply, tears rolled down my cheeks again. Be strong, ht, be strong..

Reality is so damn brutal. It hurts. I have seen a few things coming, but I am still so blind that I did not see this coming. Many hearts were broken today. Damn those cruel guys, from now on they will have no more scapegoat. Why am I swearing? We have always been playing a losing game. Reality is too way too brutal.

Fragrance

I stopped to take these pics because of their fragrance.

Good friend

How do you define "good friend" or "best friend"?

This evening I met up with a friend, who I consider one of my good friends, for dinner. It's a catch up session, cos we have not met up for 5 years. Actually I lost count, or I wasn't counting. It was only during tonight's dinner when he was trying to recall when was the last time we met that we realized that it was probably 5 years ago.

Well, time flies. 5 years just passed, pretty much in a flash. So did time tonight. We actually met up early, at 630, and we chatted non stop. Before we knew, it was already 8+, then 9+, and then WK called me to check where I am at 10+, and then finally we parted at close to 11pm.

I don't think we cover much topic, as there's just so much that had happened in 5 years. We just chatted on and on, from one topic to another. Haha, I don't think I know another more talkative guy than him!! haha...

We definitely talked about issues that touches my heart. I know I blogged a lot about my leaving GF, but I don't think I can fully articulate the complex and difficult feelings that I experienced. I have talked to many friends and colleagues from GF, but I would say that no one can fully understand my emotions. I was surprised, as I didn't expect it, but my this friend actually understood. I had been telling friends in the past few months that I have invested too much emotions in GF, and I feel so stupid and hurt (cos a job is just not worthy of such investment), and that my next job will just be "a job", nothing more. It was only tonight, that this friend pointed out that it doesn't work this way, cos we are not just "selling time" to the company but instead it's the attachment to the job and company that drives personal satisfaction and achievement that we are getting out of a job. And I told him that I totally agree, that these few months I have been fooling myself about being detached. For the past few weeks, I go to work and I feel so old. I feel so un-passionate, so unmotivated, so under achieving. I need time, to find my driving force. I need time to truly move on (emotionally) from GF.

We talked about career moves, about his various companies/jobs/challenges in the last few years, about what he wants to do after he retires. And we talked about our deteriorating physical abilities as we age (long sightedness, arthritis, etc). BTW, he's 45, 7 years my senior.

I told him that I have a few good friends who are about his age, as I enjoy talking to people a few years my senior, cos they always share their experiences with me. He told me that they (him and my other senior friends) are like torch bearers who light up my path as I move along.

It's very late right now, but I just want to write this post while my thoughts are still fresh. JJ, thanks for the advices. Most importantly, thanks for the friendship.

Sigh, the irony of having a blog

Hmm, I feel offended by blogger's new features. I don't really want/need to know how many people read my postings and which postings got read and on which day, etc. Maybe some people want this statistic. But for those of us who don't can we opt out? For friends reading my blog regularly, can you guys drop me a comment or fb message, so that I know who's still reading this? Sometimes I wonder when I "bitch" about GF, whether I over do it, cos ultimately the blog is a public space. OK, even if I know that there's lots of ex-chrt/current GF reading my blog, I will still try to be as candid as I can. Drop me a line please!

Disney magic

At HK airport lounge, waiting for our 330pm flight.

I actually enjoyed this trip much more than I anticipated. It's because Disney concept is not only attractive to children, but also adult. The fun, beauty and commercialisation is very captivating to a city girl like me. After buying and buying, I thought I will finally bring about $600 home. After eating lunch at the lounge, I left Lynn with wk and went out for a walk. I soon realised that the cosmetics in hk airport is more expansive than spore. I went into the Disney shop again. Really can't resist the amazing store deco and merchandise designs; I end up buying a chain (for myself), a pair of keychain for a friend, and a fridge magnet. Disney magic...

Selected pics from Siloso Beach Resort -March 2012

We like the pool at Siloso Beach Resort

Vivo City

Sugar (from doughnut on her face)

Flowers and mushrooms