Diary of a new P1 mum (part 2 of 3)

(The following is written on 20th Jan, Sunday, 6am)

7) After school care arrangements
I had blogged about why we decided to put her at after-school care.  The extent of logistic didn't hit me until the eve of P1 (1st Jan).  Although we had packed her school bag on the 31st, I left the preparation for after school care only till the night of 1st Jan.  As I packed for it, I "fumed"..  These were the 3 things to bring daily: raincoat, a set of home clothes, towel, and these were the 2 things to bring at beginning of week: shampoo n soap, and slippers.  Her school bag was already heavy enough, and I can't believed it that we let her go through all these when she actually has a grandma who can fetch her and let her bath and eat in the comfort of the home!  When going from the school to the after care centre, she will actually pass by our house!!

Haha, here I have to say that me and WK are already married more than 10 years, so the way to communicate with each other has been kind of established.  My strategy was to persuade him daily about changing this arrangement to fit slightly better what we want.  I reminded myself not to be too aggressive, so that our discussions wouldn't turn into arguments.  Anyway, it took only 2 days, haha, and the loving daddy finally agreed to my suggestion.

So now, the arrangement is that Lynn will not go to after school care immediately.  WK's mum will bring her home to feed and bath her.  She will then bring Lynn there only at 3pm.  This is still a non-ideal solution, but it is slightly better than going straight.  Actually what I minded most was not the extra stuff that she got to bring (we found a solution for that, which was for WK's mum to bring the stuff for the next day when she fetch Lynn from the centre in the evening), nor was it about her having to eat or bath by herself using common facility.  What I can't accept was that she goes from one classroom straight to another.  At least now she has a 1 hour break in between.  Not ideal yet, but better than before.  Long term, we need another solution, but this is it for now and the near future.

8) Thousand and one questions, and the million dollar question
I worked late on 2nd Jan, and reached home only about 8pm.  The moment I stepped into the house, I started asking her questions about her new school and centre.  There were so many, so many things that I wanted to know, such as who's the form teacher, who's the Chinese teacher, what did she eat for recess, did she sit in the front or at the back, what is the name of the girl sitting beside her, etc, etc, etc (can't remember all of them now).  Toward the end, I suddenly remembered that there's this most important question that I still had not asked, which was did she finish her bottle of water in school and if she had a refill at the centre.  I think that now that she's still young, she is still "controllable", so I need to help her build as many good habits as possible.  I don't think that she will entertain this kind of "interrogation" when she's older.

9) Break the routine on weekends?
Being a kan-cheong mum, the first weekend was a little stressful too.  I was very concern about what time she should sleep and what time she should wake during the weekends as I'm afraid this will impact her routine on Monday.  So far, so good, these 3 weekends, she slept between 930 -1030pm, and woke up between 730 to 830.  It is 1-2 hours off her weekday routine, but so far, it was still manageable, ie no major hang-over to deal with on Mondays.. Perhaps, the physical exertion of swimming class on Sunday afternoon helped.

10) Day 4 - Monday 7 Jan
That morning, she woke up complaining of feeling not too well.  Personally, I think this is one big dilemma that all mummies face.  The kids can't tell if they are really unwell, or if they are just deprive of sleep.  When she's in childcare, it was easier because we can linger around at home to monitor and determine if she should stay home or to proceed.  Now it is tougher because waking up at 630 am is just not natural for kids (even adults), no matter how early she sleeps (9pm to 630am is technically enough).  Will talk more about this later.

Anyway, that morning, she wasn't really running a fever yet, so we still proceed to school.  Later that day, Lynn told me that she actually vomited (probably a little) in class before recess, but her teacher didn't take notice.  She also said that she cried in class (will talk about that later).  It was only at recess, when she was queueing for food, that she threw up more.  So the school called home, and when WK's mum couldn't get hold of me, she went to the school to fetch Lynn home.

I told my boss that I need to take half day, and I went home at 3pm.  It was a low grade fever, which was easily under control with medication.

Again, I'm happy with the school system.  Lynn told me that she was taken to the sick bay, and she actually fell asleep there while waiting for her grandma.  And I'm happy that we started reaping benefit of putting her at the school "downstairs" already on day 4.  Technically WK's mum could and in fact had handled everything well (she fed Lynn fever medicine when they reached home at 10am), so I did not have to go home at 3.  But since I have a boss who has 2 very young kids, I knew that he will be generous towards this kind of flexible working arrangement.

That afternoon, I emailed her form teacher Mdm Ong, to inform her that Lynn will be back in school the next day.  I thought that it was a great opportunity for me to establish contact with the teacher, to be a little bit "more special".
 
11) Day 6 - Wed 9 Jan - too high an expectation?(!)
A special day in my P1 mummy journey, no thanks to FB.  As expected, the most stressful part of P1 life for me is not the homework, or the results (not yet), or whatever, but the 6am to 7am routine.   I wonder how many of those kind mummies (and kind aunty WS) who replied to my posting understand my situation, but I think they all do to different extend.

Like I explained, it wasn't that I packed her 630 to 7 with lots of activities such that she can't cope.  It's really about how I have to be the one chasing after her for every single step that she takes.  For example, if she's brushing her teeth, I need to constantly remind her to brush properly and also to get it done and over with and get out of the bathroom.  Need to remind to feed her hamsters and fish.

What are the consequence if I don't play that role?  For example, her teeth will be yellow and or will decay.  Yes, these are consequences that she will have to bear for herself in the future.  But as a mummy, am I responsible?  I think so...

I have a colleague, she is a step mother (she got married only last year).  Her hubby was a single father for many years, who bought a pet dog for his teenage daughter (she is now about 18 or 19, at time of purchase she was probably 14 or 15) upon her request.  My colleague is actually scare of dogs, but she learn to accept and live with it.  Over the years, it is her hubby, the daddy who took care of the dog.  Because he got to work, and nobody had the time to take the dog for toilet training lessons (ie it shits and pee everywhere), they had to lock the dog up in a cage in the kitchen the whole day until they come home.  I did ask why is the daughter not taking care of the dog, and the reason is that once she got over the initial "fun period",  she had never taken up the role and responsibility of a pet owner.  I really really pity the dog, who is at a very high risk of going crazy.  I pity her hubby/the father too; I think men are just too soft-hearted, and are not that great in bringing up children.  Mummy is a tough but also 伟大 job.  I do not think it is right that I take over the task of feeding the hamsters. I don't think I should suggest to Lynn that since we do not have time or do not want to take care, we can give them to someone else.  I'm an animal lover myself, I expect her to learn the commitment an owner has to pets.  I've been told that I'm too hard on myself, too high expectation on Lynn.  Ok, I accept that.  I can take that as a "criticism" or I can appreciate that as a well intended advice from concerned friends, so I choose the later.  But I will persevere on what I think is the best moral education for my only kid.

Part of her morning routine is also a small breakfast.  Again, I have strong views about training kids to eat breakfast.  To put it shortly (i) breakfast is important and beneficial and (ii) habits must be inculcated from young.

After 3 weeks of trial and error, lots of tension and my screaming at her, several negotiations, and re-desiging, this is what we will do.  Firstly, I will take the role of the "reminder", because from the feedback on "stoning" that I got,  some children do that, and unfortunately Lynn is one of them, so I will give her a few more years to learn to take charge by herself.  Secondly, I cut her "hamster role" to the minimum.  Thirdly, we agreed on what she will have for breakfast next week, cos she's super picky (rightfully so I guess) on what she will eat sooo early in the morning.

Sigh.. mummy is a tough job..