Last year when Lynn was in P1, we had an easy year. She adapted to the system well, made lots of friends, and did not face any problem with studies. There wasn't any major exam. Based on tests and assessments throughout the year, we were pleasantly surprised when she emerged the top 3 in class.
Going into P2, I was quite complacent. The school issued school term and exam time table at the beginning of the year, which I read through. Then the school organised 2 workshops regarding the syllabus, and a PMT session, which I attended and took note of her weak areas. To sum up, while I'm being kept up to date in general, I didn't think that I need to pay attention to the detail.
The "wake up call" occurred in early Sep. Lynn missed school for 3 days in the last week of Term 3. We usually self medicate if it's common flu, and we try to not be too hang up about missing class. Then the Math teacher Ms Ang called me. If she hasn't, I wouldn't even realise that Lynn actually missed a Term 3 Maths test, with marks that count towards the final results. She asked for MC, but we didn't have one. Lynn told me after I put down the phone, that she already informed me previously of that requirement.
A few weeks later, I attended the class excursion and met Mdm Ong, the form teacher. She reminded me that the exam period is coming up, and there is streaming for P2.
Mdm Ong didn't go into much detail, so I was left to figure things out on my own. So instead of working towards a precise end result, I did 3 things mainly. Firstly, I get myself, WK and Lynn to be familiar with the exam time table, which spans over 3 weeks with 7 different dates (2 Orals, and 5 different written papers)! Secondly, I keep watch over Lynn's health. When she contracted flu again in mid Oct, I had to enforce adequate water intake. Lastly, I did some revision with her, but only on her weaker areas like CL Oral and compositions.
Throughout Oct, Lynn wasn't stressed at all, nor was she pressurized to perform. She also learn skill sets that she can apply in the future to take charge of her own studies and results . For example, taking note of the exam dates is the starting point for revision planning. Another example is that I explain to her that staying away from crowded places will minimize exposure to virus, which is something that I do when I had major performances or exams in the past. The point is, while there are many things that we cannot control, there are many more others which are within our influence ; this is a life lesson that I learn from my dad.
In the end, for the good effort that she put in throughout this year, her results were well enough to earn us another attendance at the year end award ceremony. This time round, she got 2 prizes, one for "academic achievement" (top 3) and one for "Best in Maths".
It was only at the ceremony that I had a lengthy chat with Mdm Ong, then I realised how much I have "missed out". I didn't know that the streaming picks up the top 80 pupils (from the total P2 cohort of 240) to be placed in 2 top P3 classes (the rest of classes are random). Mdm Ong told me that due to this streaming, a lot of P2 parents spend time helping the kids with their revision during the exam period.
She told me how challenging it is for her class to learn the same Maths syllabus as their peers in other classes due to the "age difference". There are 4 best-in-Maths in P2 this year (they all scored 100 marks). I reminded Mdm Ong that the other 3 kids actually got full marks for all 4 papers (Terms 1 - 4), whereas Lynn got full marks for 3 papers (Term 1,2, and 4) only. It really set me wondering. It had turned out to be "unfair advantage" - if Lynn had taken that paper and had not scored full marks, she would not have this "Best in Maths" award. It may well turn out to be "unfair disadvantage - had the school decided to penalized Lynn and not awarded her this prize because she missed one paper. If that happens, it will be due to our complacency that she is not recognized for her talent/interest in Maths, and for the one full year of good work.
WK casually told Mdm Ong that it is my efforts that Lynn got her good grades. In a way, it is a form of acknowledgement. In another light, he is still not convince that what I do is necessary (he didn't hear the part about the other P2 parents' involvement). He is the "cool" parent, while I get the "labels". ~ Recently I got upset from hearing some insensitive remarks, from a kid who told me that he got 52/100 marks for Maths. When I asked him if there's any plans for tuition, he told me that his mum will tutor him. Then he said that while some kids need tuition, he don't understand why kids who are already smart like Lynn goes for tuition. I'm sure it was what he hear from the adults gossiping. I can only console myself that every parent has their own style, and will bear responsibility for the outcome. If it doesn't bother them that he gets 52 marks for P2 Maths, it shouldn't bother me their untruth comments about Lynn going for tuition. ~ As for WK, I'm not going to be too calculative, because I know he is truly not too bothered even if Lynn doesn't do as well as she does now. When I have the opportunity, I will reminded him that he (we) is blessed with a conscientious girl, who got "best in Maths" without any coaching from mummy-me!
Most importantly, I knew that I have done my best in maintaining a fine balance, in order for Lynn to only bloom and excel from my guidance/push, and not suffer any undue stress or pressure. I believe it is solely for her own benefit, and not mine.
So lessons learnt from the P2 exam experience and the above recent episodes are as follow.
One, honeymoon period is only for one year, for neighbourhood school. Recently, I met up with an ex-colleague who became a SAHM 3 years ago. Her elder boy is in P1 this year, in a branded school. She talks about the politics in the PSG that she is in. And there is already CCA for her P1 boy.
Two, learn the school system and process, keep in contact with the teacher.
Three, do not comment/gossip about others' parenting style, especially in front of kids.
Finally, I told Mdm Ong that next year, there is no more pressure on me anymore, as she may not be the top of the class :). Perhaps the more correct way of putting it is that, the focus for me next year will be to build responsibility and accountability in her. 受之于鱼不如授之于渔
Lastly, I hope that once again she will have a happy learning journey in KCS in 2015!!
New principal, Mdm. Sarah Leong, next year onwards
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