Grandma's wake (I)

On the Tuesday, during lunch time, I got a message on the family chat group that Grandma had been certified by the doctor to have passed away at home  at 12 noon.  The first few thoughts that came to my mind were that I'm glad that I visited her at the hospital the week before and also on Sunday morning.  We were also informed that the undertaker will be bringing her body away that evening at 6.30pm.  Most of us (in the chat group) replied that we will be at her home about 5+.

That evening, all of her children, and most of her grandchildren were at her home to say our last goodbye.   With everyone around, Aunty Cindy explained that grandma had been running a fever since Saturday, after her discharge from the hospital on Friday.  She had not been feeding well, both food and medicine.  On Tuesday morning, she experienced difficulty in breathing.  At about 11+, both my aunts had watched her take her last breath.  They couldn't hear any heartbeat, and called for the doctor, who certified her death, with cause as pneumonia.   Grandma's younger brother and sister in law happened to be visiting her that morning, so they were there when she passed away. 

I've heard of old folks who suffered other kinds of organ failure, who struggled for over a week before their last breath,  In those cases, some parts of their body, such as fingernails and leg actually start turning black before their death.  In grandma's case, she still look well in the last few days that I saw her.  Pneumonia (water in her lungs) took her away quickly that morning.  Grandma looked very peaceful when we saw her in the evening.  Aunt explained that Grandma's tongue was slightly out at first, but the body finally rested in peace (by itself) over the next few hours.

The undertaker came slightly after 7, and brought her body away for embalming.  Aunt made an unusual arrangement, which was for the undertaker to keep the body for 2 nights (Tues and Wed) and only to send the coffin to the wake site on Thursday morning.  It was for practical reasons, so as to cut down on one overnight (Wed) duty.  It is highly untraditional, so I was quite impressed. 

Wednesday
Due to the unconventional arrangement, Aunts had the whole of Wed to do several things.  Firstly, it was to book the Pavilion (void deck) for the wake.  Then it was to book newspaper advertisement for Thursday.  They also had to book buffet dinners and lunch for the next few days. 

That evening after work, I went by the funeral site, which was already set up, but without coffin, picture, nor visitor.   It felt calming and serene.  I went up to grandma's house to chat with WS and aunty YY for awhile, and hope that they can have a good rest before the busy days ahead.

Thursday and Friday
I went to work on both days, and left early at 4pm.  On Thursday morning, grandma in her coffin was returned at the funeral site at 9am.  Throughout the day, there were photos in the group chat of wreaths from various companies. 

I was on site to help out from 6pm.  That night, I was again very impressed by the extremely simple and easy Buddhist ritual that my aunts had selected.  We even have chairs to sit on when going through the ritual.  There was no incense paper burning either.  I thought it suited grandma, suited her children and grandchildren, to have such as non ceremonious funeral.   

I'm happy to see relatives and family friends turning up.  I am not close to them, but my mum, uncles and aunties are.  Most relatives turn up on all 3 days (including Saturday), to pay respect and say goodbye to their eldest aunt (my grandma).