An article, dedicated to my sweetie.
http://refineus.org/the-one-thing-missing/
This is the 2nd time I am dedicating an article on couple relationship to my darling-daughter rather than darling-hubby. On one hand, people only live once; I had already picked my life partner, and we will keep learning together to grow the relationship for the better. On the other hand, the dream of a second chance at something even better, isn't this the reason why we all want to and feel excited about having children? I fantasied about Lynn asking for my opinion on how to pick a good partner and what I think of her daddy. It's a challenging and interesting question to answer. But she may never ask, like I never asked my mum. I hope she does.
Anyway here's another great article to read.
Showing posts with label Dedication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dedication. Show all posts
Sunday, September 18, 2016
Monday, April 4, 2016
Monday, March 28, 2016
Grandma's wake (I)
On the Tuesday, during lunch time, I got a message on the family chat group that Grandma had been certified by the doctor to have passed away at home at 12 noon. The first few thoughts that came to my mind were that I'm glad that I visited her at the hospital the week before and also on Sunday morning. We were also informed that the undertaker will be bringing her body away that evening at 6.30pm. Most of us (in the chat group) replied that we will be at her home about 5+.
That evening, all of her children, and most of her grandchildren were at her home to say our last goodbye. With everyone around, Aunty Cindy explained that grandma had been running a fever since Saturday, after her discharge from the hospital on Friday. She had not been feeding well, both food and medicine. On Tuesday morning, she experienced difficulty in breathing. At about 11+, both my aunts had watched her take her last breath. They couldn't hear any heartbeat, and called for the doctor, who certified her death, with cause as pneumonia. Grandma's younger brother and sister in law happened to be visiting her that morning, so they were there when she passed away.
I've heard of old folks who suffered other kinds of organ failure, who struggled for over a week before their last breath, In those cases, some parts of their body, such as fingernails and leg actually start turning black before their death. In grandma's case, she still look well in the last few days that I saw her. Pneumonia (water in her lungs) took her away quickly that morning. Grandma looked very peaceful when we saw her in the evening. Aunt explained that Grandma's tongue was slightly out at first, but the body finally rested in peace (by itself) over the next few hours.
The undertaker came slightly after 7, and brought her body away for embalming. Aunt made an unusual arrangement, which was for the undertaker to keep the body for 2 nights (Tues and Wed) and only to send the coffin to the wake site on Thursday morning. It was for practical reasons, so as to cut down on one overnight (Wed) duty. It is highly untraditional, so I was quite impressed.
Wednesday
Due to the unconventional arrangement, Aunts had the whole of Wed to do several things. Firstly, it was to book the Pavilion (void deck) for the wake. Then it was to book newspaper advertisement for Thursday. They also had to book buffet dinners and lunch for the next few days.
That evening after work, I went by the funeral site, which was already set up, but without coffin, picture, nor visitor. It felt calming and serene. I went up to grandma's house to chat with WS and aunty YY for awhile, and hope that they can have a good rest before the busy days ahead.
Thursday and Friday
I went to work on both days, and left early at 4pm. On Thursday morning, grandma in her coffin was returned at the funeral site at 9am. Throughout the day, there were photos in the group chat of wreaths from various companies.
I was on site to help out from 6pm. That night, I was again very impressed by the extremely simple and easy Buddhist ritual that my aunts had selected. We even have chairs to sit on when going through the ritual. There was no incense paper burning either. I thought it suited grandma, suited her children and grandchildren, to have such as non ceremonious funeral.
I'm happy to see relatives and family friends turning up. I am not close to them, but my mum, uncles and aunties are. Most relatives turn up on all 3 days (including Saturday), to pay respect and say goodbye to their eldest aunt (my grandma).
That evening, all of her children, and most of her grandchildren were at her home to say our last goodbye. With everyone around, Aunty Cindy explained that grandma had been running a fever since Saturday, after her discharge from the hospital on Friday. She had not been feeding well, both food and medicine. On Tuesday morning, she experienced difficulty in breathing. At about 11+, both my aunts had watched her take her last breath. They couldn't hear any heartbeat, and called for the doctor, who certified her death, with cause as pneumonia. Grandma's younger brother and sister in law happened to be visiting her that morning, so they were there when she passed away.
I've heard of old folks who suffered other kinds of organ failure, who struggled for over a week before their last breath, In those cases, some parts of their body, such as fingernails and leg actually start turning black before their death. In grandma's case, she still look well in the last few days that I saw her. Pneumonia (water in her lungs) took her away quickly that morning. Grandma looked very peaceful when we saw her in the evening. Aunt explained that Grandma's tongue was slightly out at first, but the body finally rested in peace (by itself) over the next few hours.
The undertaker came slightly after 7, and brought her body away for embalming. Aunt made an unusual arrangement, which was for the undertaker to keep the body for 2 nights (Tues and Wed) and only to send the coffin to the wake site on Thursday morning. It was for practical reasons, so as to cut down on one overnight (Wed) duty. It is highly untraditional, so I was quite impressed.
Wednesday
Due to the unconventional arrangement, Aunts had the whole of Wed to do several things. Firstly, it was to book the Pavilion (void deck) for the wake. Then it was to book newspaper advertisement for Thursday. They also had to book buffet dinners and lunch for the next few days.
That evening after work, I went by the funeral site, which was already set up, but without coffin, picture, nor visitor. It felt calming and serene. I went up to grandma's house to chat with WS and aunty YY for awhile, and hope that they can have a good rest before the busy days ahead.
Thursday and Friday
I went to work on both days, and left early at 4pm. On Thursday morning, grandma in her coffin was returned at the funeral site at 9am. Throughout the day, there were photos in the group chat of wreaths from various companies.
I was on site to help out from 6pm. That night, I was again very impressed by the extremely simple and easy Buddhist ritual that my aunts had selected. We even have chairs to sit on when going through the ritual. There was no incense paper burning either. I thought it suited grandma, suited her children and grandchildren, to have such as non ceremonious funeral.
I'm happy to see relatives and family friends turning up. I am not close to them, but my mum, uncles and aunties are. Most relatives turn up on all 3 days (including Saturday), to pay respect and say goodbye to their eldest aunt (my grandma).
The cremation (II)
My grandfather passed away more than 20 years ago. Weiqi is only 1 month old then, and this October she will be 21. His wake then lasted 7 days, but I remember very little of it. The one thing that was etched deeply in my memory was the moment at the crematorium, when his coffin was pushed into the incinerator. It was the peak of emotion. It was final closure for me.
I was looking forward to Saturday after the 2 days of wake. The morning started well enough. But after the few days of hectic activities, patience finally ran thin, and aunt Cindy yelled at aunt YY. WS did a good meditation job. A few things happened along the way, like I spilled a whole bottle of water on the admin table, so we had to move grandma table photo. We didn't secure the frame to the table, so it fell and the glass broke. Then there was the Muar grand aunt who got upset that she was not prompted to contribute to flower basket, so 2nd grand aunt in law got to go to the market to quickly get one for her.
Finally the last ritual started after 1pm. It turned out to be extremely ceremonious, and I dislike it.
It is also at this point that I started crying. I had wanted to make fun Lynn, so I asked her if I can wipe my tears on her tshirt. To my surprise, my sweetie actually said ok without betting an eyelid. She must be quite at a loss as to how to comfort me. Another sweetie that afternoon is Weihui. She saw me crying, so she asked Lynn to give me a hug. I was touched, so instead of hugging Lynn, I extended my arms to solicite a hug from Weihui. She came up to hug me, then went to hug Wee San when I asked her to.
Finally we were on our way to Mandai. Unfortunately, this last part, which I had anticipated for so long, was totally wrecked by the funeral director who kept saying unnecessary stuff. Life is full of regrets. I can't send grandma to her cremation again. But I guess it really doesn't matter to her at all.
Still, it was closure for me again. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
Her final resting place (III)
It was really an eye opener, as I learn that it is mostly pieces of bones, and not ashes as seen in shows. We were invited to pick a piece of bone each to be put in the urn.
We then took the urn to its final resting place at a columbarium name 三邑楼. This is where my grandfather's urn is for the past 20 years. I have only been there on his first death anniversary. It's great to pay respect to him again after so many years.
It had been 3 weeks. The feelings will never be the same before whenever I visit grandma's house. Life goes on; just need some time getting use to..
Photo and wordings by Wee San:
A picture of Lynn and Grandma which WS put up on her blog post:
Altar at home, to be maintained for 49 days. Week 1, 13/3:
Saturday, March 26, 2016
Lovely gesture
(Post written on 21/3; scheduled and published on 26/3 1.39pm; updated on 26/3, 3.30pm)
Right after my Vietnam biz trip, I went to China. I checked into the Shanghai hotel at about 4pm on Sunday (21 Feb) afternoon. At the beginning of a week long business trip, I was feeling tired, and a little sad and down.
Once I'm connected to Wifi in the hotel room, a Whatsapp message came through. It was from Carol, an ex-colleague from GFChrt. She said that she's thinking of me because she made a flower arrangement for a friend. We exchanged some messages; I shared my frustration of having bigger work responsibilities, and she shared news that a colleague started working half day at the beginning of this year when her triplets started P1. The messaging ended quite abruptly when I went out for dinner.
After we came back from the business trip, I had a good chat with my boss regarding where my career is heading. He gave me a day off, as he knew that I'm feeling drained. I took half day on 2nd March, and my first stop for the afternoon was to Far East Floral to buy flowers for myself. While browsing, I sent Carol pictures of flowers, telling her that her whatsapp message on the previous Sunday help cheered me up.
March had been a sad month for me, and Carol's been very busy with kids and her mum falling sick. We kept the whatsapp messages going for quite sometime, infact till now. It amazes me, how simple it is to stay in touch, as long as both parties made the effort.
Folks, if you are still reading this blog after so many years, I still hope that you will drop me a line..
Update 26/3 3.30pm:
Right after my Vietnam biz trip, I went to China. I checked into the Shanghai hotel at about 4pm on Sunday (21 Feb) afternoon. At the beginning of a week long business trip, I was feeling tired, and a little sad and down.
Once I'm connected to Wifi in the hotel room, a Whatsapp message came through. It was from Carol, an ex-colleague from GFChrt. She said that she's thinking of me because she made a flower arrangement for a friend. We exchanged some messages; I shared my frustration of having bigger work responsibilities, and she shared news that a colleague started working half day at the beginning of this year when her triplets started P1. The messaging ended quite abruptly when I went out for dinner.
After we came back from the business trip, I had a good chat with my boss regarding where my career is heading. He gave me a day off, as he knew that I'm feeling drained. I took half day on 2nd March, and my first stop for the afternoon was to Far East Floral to buy flowers for myself. While browsing, I sent Carol pictures of flowers, telling her that her whatsapp message on the previous Sunday help cheered me up.
March had been a sad month for me, and Carol's been very busy with kids and her mum falling sick. We kept the whatsapp messages going for quite sometime, infact till now. It amazes me, how simple it is to stay in touch, as long as both parties made the effort.
Folks, if you are still reading this blog after so many years, I still hope that you will drop me a line..
Update 26/3 3.30pm:
Fate brought us friendship; fate sees to it that we stay connected, especially in these times when we both lost someone close to us. March 2016
Friday, March 25, 2016
A passerby in HCM
I went on a last minute business trip to Ho Chi Ming city in February. It was my first time in Vietnam. Was there for a short 3 days (15-17Feb).
I thought it will feel like China many years back, but it does not. The custom officer whom I met was not friendly; the ones in China are more pro-tourists and foreigners. The people speaks softly, unlike in China. The traffic was less busy, but just as "free-style". The city, and the way to the factory, felt "sandy".
I did not visit any places of interested, just shuttered between hotel in HCM city and the factory which is one hour out. The place that I stayed at is a tourist place, like our Orchard Road. Here's a few pictures of the beautifully decorated pedestrian square in the mist of international and local hotels and commercial buildings.
The local hotel that I stayed at decorated it's lobby and café with padi plant. I like it's setting, which feels retro and authentic.
I thought it will feel like China many years back, but it does not. The custom officer whom I met was not friendly; the ones in China are more pro-tourists and foreigners. The people speaks softly, unlike in China. The traffic was less busy, but just as "free-style". The city, and the way to the factory, felt "sandy".
I did not visit any places of interested, just shuttered between hotel in HCM city and the factory which is one hour out. The place that I stayed at is a tourist place, like our Orchard Road. Here's a few pictures of the beautifully decorated pedestrian square in the mist of international and local hotels and commercial buildings.
The local hotel that I stayed at decorated it's lobby and café with padi plant. I like it's setting, which feels retro and authentic.
But I felt sad throughout the trip. Hopefully, it will be for a better purpose for my next trip.
A little prayer for my first Vietnamese friend, Ms Van:
Wednesday, March 23, 2016
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
Wisdom and values
http://brightside.me/article/11-crucial-things-i-do-to-make-my-wife-happy-74355/
Dedicate this article to my dear Lynnette....
Dedicate this article to my dear Lynnette....
Saturday, January 2, 2016
New beginning
On New Year's Eve, me and WS made arrangement to carry out our "waffling" tradition. Eventually, it was dining, with aunt Cindy too. The food was great, dessert so-so. I like the place, and hope to go back there real soon..
This evening and tonight will be lots of cleaning. I am kind of excited because the colors I choose looks great!
Tomorrow, I need to work. Year end closing.. Life of an accountant.
2016!! Wishing myself, happy days ahead!!
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Documentation of our life journey； Farewell 2015
(Written: 28 Dec; Scheduled for: 31st Dec)
FB has this new feature reminding us of photos that were uploaded on the same day several years ago. It is heart warming and irritation at the same time.
Spent sometime browsing old blog sites of friends who are still currently, but (some) are only occasionally, blogging. One blog site is even now no long accessible. Which reminds me, should still print the photos or blogs in this digital age.
Here's some of the oldest photos I came across:
My old blog - May 2008
Lixing's old blog - Dec 2008 and Aug 2009 (Chloe)
And the first blogger whom I know of, the one that inspired me to start blogging; here's a Feb 2008 posting when Wee San came back to Singapore for good. Anthony was just 6 months old back then, and he will be P3 in a few days' time.
FB has this new feature reminding us of photos that were uploaded on the same day several years ago. It is heart warming and irritation at the same time.
Spent sometime browsing old blog sites of friends who are still currently, but (some) are only occasionally, blogging. One blog site is even now no long accessible. Which reminds me, should still print the photos or blogs in this digital age.
Here's some of the oldest photos I came across:
My old blog - May 2008
Lixing's old blog - Dec 2008 and Aug 2009 (Chloe)
And the first blogger whom I know of, the one that inspired me to start blogging; here's a Feb 2008 posting when Wee San came back to Singapore for good. Anthony was just 6 months old back then, and he will be P3 in a few days' time.
A dedication to all parents, wishing all a happy and healthy 2016..
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