Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Reality is so damn brutal. It hurts. I have seen a few things coming, but I am still so blind that I did not see this coming. Many hearts were broken today. Damn those cruel guys, from now on they will have no more scapegoat. Why am I swearing? We have always been playing a losing game. Reality is too way too brutal.
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Good friend
How do you define "good friend" or "best friend"?
This evening I met up with a friend, who I consider one of my good friends, for dinner. It's a catch up session, cos we have not met up for 5 years. Actually I lost count, or I wasn't counting. It was only during tonight's dinner when he was trying to recall when was the last time we met that we realized that it was probably 5 years ago.
Well, time flies. 5 years just passed, pretty much in a flash. So did time tonight. We actually met up early, at 630, and we chatted non stop. Before we knew, it was already 8+, then 9+, and then WK called me to check where I am at 10+, and then finally we parted at close to 11pm.
I don't think we cover much topic, as there's just so much that had happened in 5 years. We just chatted on and on, from one topic to another. Haha, I don't think I know another more talkative guy than him!! haha...
We definitely talked about issues that touches my heart. I know I blogged a lot about my leaving GF, but I don't think I can fully articulate the complex and difficult feelings that I experienced. I have talked to many friends and colleagues from GF, but I would say that no one can fully understand my emotions. I was surprised, as I didn't expect it, but my this friend actually understood. I had been telling friends in the past few months that I have invested too much emotions in GF, and I feel so stupid and hurt (cos a job is just not worthy of such investment), and that my next job will just be "a job", nothing more. It was only tonight, that this friend pointed out that it doesn't work this way, cos we are not just "selling time" to the company but instead it's the attachment to the job and company that drives personal satisfaction and achievement that we are getting out of a job. And I told him that I totally agree, that these few months I have been fooling myself about being detached. For the past few weeks, I go to work and I feel so old. I feel so un-passionate, so unmotivated, so under achieving. I need time, to find my driving force. I need time to truly move on (emotionally) from GF.
We talked about career moves, about his various companies/jobs/challenges in the last few years, about what he wants to do after he retires. And we talked about our deteriorating physical abilities as we age (long sightedness, arthritis, etc). BTW, he's 45, 7 years my senior.
I told him that I have a few good friends who are about his age, as I enjoy talking to people a few years my senior, cos they always share their experiences with me. He told me that they (him and my other senior friends) are like torch bearers who light up my path as I move along.
It's very late right now, but I just want to write this post while my thoughts are still fresh. JJ, thanks for the advices. Most importantly, thanks for the friendship.
This evening I met up with a friend, who I consider one of my good friends, for dinner. It's a catch up session, cos we have not met up for 5 years. Actually I lost count, or I wasn't counting. It was only during tonight's dinner when he was trying to recall when was the last time we met that we realized that it was probably 5 years ago.
Well, time flies. 5 years just passed, pretty much in a flash. So did time tonight. We actually met up early, at 630, and we chatted non stop. Before we knew, it was already 8+, then 9+, and then WK called me to check where I am at 10+, and then finally we parted at close to 11pm.
I don't think we cover much topic, as there's just so much that had happened in 5 years. We just chatted on and on, from one topic to another. Haha, I don't think I know another more talkative guy than him!! haha...
We definitely talked about issues that touches my heart. I know I blogged a lot about my leaving GF, but I don't think I can fully articulate the complex and difficult feelings that I experienced. I have talked to many friends and colleagues from GF, but I would say that no one can fully understand my emotions. I was surprised, as I didn't expect it, but my this friend actually understood. I had been telling friends in the past few months that I have invested too much emotions in GF, and I feel so stupid and hurt (cos a job is just not worthy of such investment), and that my next job will just be "a job", nothing more. It was only tonight, that this friend pointed out that it doesn't work this way, cos we are not just "selling time" to the company but instead it's the attachment to the job and company that drives personal satisfaction and achievement that we are getting out of a job. And I told him that I totally agree, that these few months I have been fooling myself about being detached. For the past few weeks, I go to work and I feel so old. I feel so un-passionate, so unmotivated, so under achieving. I need time, to find my driving force. I need time to truly move on (emotionally) from GF.
We talked about career moves, about his various companies/jobs/challenges in the last few years, about what he wants to do after he retires. And we talked about our deteriorating physical abilities as we age (long sightedness, arthritis, etc). BTW, he's 45, 7 years my senior.
I told him that I have a few good friends who are about his age, as I enjoy talking to people a few years my senior, cos they always share their experiences with me. He told me that they (him and my other senior friends) are like torch bearers who light up my path as I move along.
It's very late right now, but I just want to write this post while my thoughts are still fresh. JJ, thanks for the advices. Most importantly, thanks for the friendship.
Sigh, the irony of having a blog
Hmm, I feel offended by blogger's new features. I don't really want/need to know how many people read my postings and which postings got read and on which day, etc. Maybe some people want this statistic. But for those of us who don't can we opt out?
For friends reading my blog regularly, can you guys drop me a comment or fb message, so that I know who's still reading this? Sometimes I wonder when I "bitch" about GF, whether I over do it, cos ultimately the blog is a public space. OK, even if I know that there's lots of ex-chrt/current GF reading my blog, I will still try to be as candid as I can. Drop me a line please!
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Disney magic
At HK airport lounge, waiting for our 330pm flight.
I actually enjoyed this trip much more than I anticipated. It's because Disney concept is not only attractive to children, but also adult. The fun, beauty and commercialisation is very captivating to a city girl like me. After buying and buying, I thought I will finally bring about $600 home. After eating lunch at the lounge, I left Lynn with wk and went out for a walk. I soon realised that the cosmetics in hk airport is more expansive than spore. I went into the Disney shop again. Really can't resist the amazing store deco and merchandise designs; I end up buying a chain (for myself), a pair of keychain for a friend, and a fridge magnet. Disney magic...
I actually enjoyed this trip much more than I anticipated. It's because Disney concept is not only attractive to children, but also adult. The fun, beauty and commercialisation is very captivating to a city girl like me. After buying and buying, I thought I will finally bring about $600 home. After eating lunch at the lounge, I left Lynn with wk and went out for a walk. I soon realised that the cosmetics in hk airport is more expansive than spore. I went into the Disney shop again. Really can't resist the amazing store deco and merchandise designs; I end up buying a chain (for myself), a pair of keychain for a friend, and a fridge magnet. Disney magic...
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Selected pics from Siloso Beach Resort -March 2012
We like the pool at Siloso Beach Resort
Vivo City
Sugar (from doughnut on her face)
Flowers and mushrooms
Monday, April 9, 2012
Update
Hmm, there were many times during the past 2 weeks that I thought "Hi, I need to post on my blog about this!". But I didn't do so, and now that I'm at my computer, I forgot what I wanted to blog about. So, anything that comes to my mind...
(1) NOW
Monday, having salad lunch in my office. Today is my 3rd week at work. Work wise, it's a familiar scope, such as forecasting, review, implementing processes and systems, closing. My current company (Jab) is a contract manufacturer, so it's a familiar industry for me to.
Week 1, I missed my ex-colleagues a lot. Last week was much better.
Jab is in Toa Payoh, 15 mins walk from my house. There's no carpark lot available, so I bought a season parking at Lynn's childcare, which is just 5 mins walk to Jab. So I drive Lynn to CC in the morning, park my car and walk over. I can actually see Lynn's CC from my work place (see pics below). Next year, the company will be moving to Tampines. I'm fine with the move; the company being in Toa Payoh wasn't part of my consideration.
These 2 pics were taken on the same spot.
In this first pic, I'm facing Lynn's CC, which is the short blue building in the middle of the pic (across the road and across the field):
In this pic, I turn around and face my office building. So I can actually see Lynn's cc from one of the corners of my office building.
So how do I feel about coming to work in the past 2 weeks? To be honest, I feel sadness. I never regret leaving my previous company, but I think I need time to move on emotionally.
(2) Learning new stuff:
I got an Iphone from Jab, so I'm carrying 2 phones now. Jab uses Gmail instead of MSexchange. Gmail is such a different animal from MS. And Skype is used as the main communication tool here. There's so much IT stuff to learn...
(3) My 2 months break
I don't think I can find time in the next few weeks to write about my break, but I will definately do that "soon". It is too important a (life) journey for me to not record it.
(4) My sweetie
She's a happy girl, growing beautifully day by day. I stopped her ballet class (I still wonder if that's the right choice), and I started her on piano class (and I wonder if that's the right choice).
Whenever people finds out that I can play the piano (a little), I always tell them "Well, I learn piano when I was young.. When I still at Grade 1 after 3 years, my mum finally gave up!" Usually I get laughter from whoever I tell the story to. There's only one person who "replied" me, and she is my SIL May. May says that my BIL (WK's youngest bro) was being forced to learn and completed at least up to grade 6 or 7 (I think) by my MIL. I'm really in a dilemma. I kept wondering if I should have pressed on with the ballet classes. I have this fear about what I'm going to do if Lynn's still at grade 1 in 3 years time!!!!
Something much more positive to share. I always have this worry that Lynn will be like me in terms of learning to swim. My dad taught me when I was about her age now. I remember my dad telling me that I have already mastered the strokes, but I afraid to swim. Eventually I only got over the fear of water and learn how to swim when I was 18. When Lynn was younger, she would cling onto us very tightly whenever we go swimming. I'm so afraid that she wouldn't want to go for swimming class or that the coach will say the same thing as my dad. Luckily, my worries are gone now. She had started swimming classes. I think the credit goes to WK totally, that she's starting to be able to swim. She made friends at her class, and would always request that we let her play a little while more with her friends in the pool after their 45-mins-lesson.
That's all for now..
(1) NOW
Monday, having salad lunch in my office. Today is my 3rd week at work. Work wise, it's a familiar scope, such as forecasting, review, implementing processes and systems, closing. My current company (Jab) is a contract manufacturer, so it's a familiar industry for me to.
Week 1, I missed my ex-colleagues a lot. Last week was much better.
Jab is in Toa Payoh, 15 mins walk from my house. There's no carpark lot available, so I bought a season parking at Lynn's childcare, which is just 5 mins walk to Jab. So I drive Lynn to CC in the morning, park my car and walk over. I can actually see Lynn's CC from my work place (see pics below). Next year, the company will be moving to Tampines. I'm fine with the move; the company being in Toa Payoh wasn't part of my consideration.
These 2 pics were taken on the same spot.
In this first pic, I'm facing Lynn's CC, which is the short blue building in the middle of the pic (across the road and across the field):
So how do I feel about coming to work in the past 2 weeks? To be honest, I feel sadness. I never regret leaving my previous company, but I think I need time to move on emotionally.
(2) Learning new stuff:
I got an Iphone from Jab, so I'm carrying 2 phones now. Jab uses Gmail instead of MSexchange. Gmail is such a different animal from MS. And Skype is used as the main communication tool here. There's so much IT stuff to learn...
(3) My 2 months break
I don't think I can find time in the next few weeks to write about my break, but I will definately do that "soon". It is too important a (life) journey for me to not record it.
(4) My sweetie
She's a happy girl, growing beautifully day by day. I stopped her ballet class (I still wonder if that's the right choice), and I started her on piano class (and I wonder if that's the right choice).
Whenever people finds out that I can play the piano (a little), I always tell them "Well, I learn piano when I was young.. When I still at Grade 1 after 3 years, my mum finally gave up!" Usually I get laughter from whoever I tell the story to. There's only one person who "replied" me, and she is my SIL May. May says that my BIL (WK's youngest bro) was being forced to learn and completed at least up to grade 6 or 7 (I think) by my MIL. I'm really in a dilemma. I kept wondering if I should have pressed on with the ballet classes. I have this fear about what I'm going to do if Lynn's still at grade 1 in 3 years time!!!!
Something much more positive to share. I always have this worry that Lynn will be like me in terms of learning to swim. My dad taught me when I was about her age now. I remember my dad telling me that I have already mastered the strokes, but I afraid to swim. Eventually I only got over the fear of water and learn how to swim when I was 18. When Lynn was younger, she would cling onto us very tightly whenever we go swimming. I'm so afraid that she wouldn't want to go for swimming class or that the coach will say the same thing as my dad. Luckily, my worries are gone now. She had started swimming classes. I think the credit goes to WK totally, that she's starting to be able to swim. She made friends at her class, and would always request that we let her play a little while more with her friends in the pool after their 45-mins-lesson.
That's all for now..
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